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Back in about 1999…
…I took one of those fun little surveys that was supposed to look like kind of a psychic reading or some magical thing that could read your inner thoughts.
I remember where I was.
My friend and I had returned from a party to our staff accommodations where we lived in the resort town of Lake Louise, Alberta, Canada. We decided to hop onto the computers that were in the lobby. They were the kind that took coins — $1.00, I think, a Loonie – for about 15 or 30 minutes.
I don’t know how I found the survey. I suppose it just popped up, but it had normal questions, like Who was your best friend when you were a kid? Who was your first love? What’s your favourite song? What’s one word to describe how you feel when you see a sunset?
When I got the results, I was astounded. It was amazingly accurate in showing me some things I didn’t admit to others. I don’t recall all of the questions and answers except for one.
It read, “This is your approach to life – Waiting for the Miracle.” My answer was the song by Leonard Cohen.
At that time, at age 20 when I was only concerned about having a good time in life, I had to really think about that. It struck a chord in me somehow but I didn’t know why. What does it mean I’m waiting for the miracle? I don’t get it!
The Sands of Time Were Falling
Years went by, I don’t know how many, and I put the survey to the back of my mind, but I’d heard that song many more times over the years because it was one of my favourites. Every time the song came on, I’d wonder again what it meant and how it applied to my approach to life. I still couldn’t put my finger on it.
As with many things, it seems like life comes into clarity slowly for me, such as with my awakening that began in about 2014 when I was seriously ill.
And so it was with that song; a gradual understanding as I comprehended the lyrics a little more with each listen. Eventually, I understood and I realized what I’d been doing my whole life.
I was waiting for the miracle.
What does that mean?
It means that I’d been letting life go by me.
I saw things, people, and opportunities as not good enough, so I decided to wait for something better. Meanwhile, I was sabotaging future possibilities. That’s really what the song is about, and it was true about me.
The question is, when something good presents itself to you, how do you know that something better will come along and that the opportunity at hand isn’t the one that might change your life? Maybe it looks mediocre in the moment, but you don’t know its full potential till you’re in it.
Which brings us to this question…
Where did you learn that things aren’t good enough? Where did the programming come from?
Probably family, school, or society at large. If you’re consistently told that what you do, have, or are interested in isn’t good enough, there’s a good chance you’ll miss the boat on things.
What Are Miracles?
Lately, I’ve been thinking about a movie I’d seen a number of times when I was young, Grand Canyon, 1991. I watched this film last week and it’s what got me writing this piece.
In the movie, set in Las Angeles, California, various things occur in the characters’ lives that seem somewhat meaningless and random. Meanwhile, bad things are happening all around them, too; poverty, crime, homelessness, an abandoned baby found by the character Claire, a man being shot by a robber for his watch.
Yet, as Claire discovers, chance encounters and little signs point to something bigger at play, a grander force in control, leading to friendships and love despite the tribulations around them which seem just as strong as the miracles they are experiencing.
Here is an excerpt from that movie when Claire recognizes the miracles:
Claire:
Has it occurred to you that it doesn’t really matter all that much? Why should you be the one person on earth who always acts rationally? Forget rational.
Mack:
I’m completely out of control. Stop me before I kill.
Claire:
Well, so good for you. Aren’t you sick of trying to be in control all the time? I am.
Mack, you think that I want that baby because I’ve got some hole in my life, or I think I’m gonna have some hole in my life—but that’s not it. Or if it is it, it’s just a part of it. That baby needs someone to love it and take care of it.
Mack:
Does it have to be you?
Claire:
I believe that there’s a reason I found her. Mack, I do. You can dismiss it all you want, but I’ll always believe that. And you probably do too.
You’re telling me that you thought that there was a reason this guy—this Simon—showed up and saved you.
Mack:
I did?
Claire:
How do you think that I feel about this baby? What if I hadn’t had it? What if no one had had it? We would have read about it in the Times. “Oh my God, they found a dead baby under the bushes on Carmelina. Oh, Mack, I must have run right by it the other morning.”
Claire:
But that didn’t happen. I found her. And maybe I saved her life, just the way maybe Simon saved yours.
Mack:
What are you saying?
Claire:
Something has happened. You can’t go back and have it not happen. Some kind of connection has been made, and it has to be played out. That is why you can’t stay out of Simon’s business. It’s like this itch you’ve got to scratch.
Mack:
Claire, you’re talking about a lifelong commitment just because you happened to be running by those bushes. I’m not gonna be dealing with this Simon guy the rest of my life.
Claire:
How do you know that? How do you know that this man isn’t gonna be your friend until the day that you die?
What if these are miracles, Mack? Maybe we don’t have any experience with miracles, so we’re slow to recognize them.
Mack:
Okay, I’m getting a terrific headache.
Claire:
No, you’re not.
Mack:
I’m not?
Claire:
I’ll tell you why I reject your headache.
Mack:
Please.
Claire:
Because it’s inappropriate.
Mack:
Inappropriate?
Claire:
If I am right, and these events are truly miracles, then it is an inappropriate response to get a headache in the presence of a miracle.
Rationality vs Instinct
An interesting element in the movie is that some of the characters seem to recognize the miracles, at least for a little while, and then some time later they forget or they brush it off as being irrational, just some fluke or temporary insanity.
I wonder, when did rationality begin to trump intuition and the subtle magic of the world?
Sometime after I began to recover from being super sick, I started taking opportunities. I’d gotten my life back so I engaged with people more, I had less immediate judgement about whether the thing was good enough or not, because if something sucks, you can simply drop it, right? (Or course, if that little voice inside tells you to avoid it, then you have to listen to that. I’m not talking here about saying yes to everything).
Nowadays, with all that’s going on in the world, it may seem like evil is taking over. Indeed, it’s trying. Maybe it is expected to be this way – as evil rises, so does good. Or rather this – even though evil may increase, the power of God shines even more. I pick up the Bible from time to time and recall there being something said in there to this effect, such as…
Romans 5:20
Where sin increased, grace increased all the more.
John 1:5
The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.
1 John 4:4
He who is in you is greater than he who is in the world.
(And as you may know, Satan is the god of this world (John 12:31). )
The miracles don’t have to be seen through a Christian lens. (I’m not a practicing one, even though I was raised as one. I’m just curious). It can be seen through anyone’s eyes at any moment of the day.
So, keep your spidey senses open for the miracles happening all around you. In a world with so much struggle, what other way is there to live than to stop and notice the beauty and miracles?
Why sink into despair when you can rise above it and shine through the darkness?
And if not for yourself, why not for others who need your light?
That is the service we can bring to mankind.
Are you looking to stop self-sabotaging and start making decisions that put you on the path to health, love, and success?
Take the test to see if your self-sabotage is minimal, moderate or advanced here.
Or, contact Fiona to discuss it at fiona@fionaforhealth.com
